Morning After
by BondofFlame09Fullmetal INC
Summary: The Dogs of the Military are having a coffee party complete with karaoke, frilly pink things, and a little shonenai. RoyEd Chapter 2 up! Crazy muses to follow...
1. Prologue

Editor's note: I did not write this. I'm the editor. The author's computer is slow, so that makes me the official typist and editor! So, don't flame me, all flames will be sent to my pyromaniac squad (Roy and Axel) and will burn down the author's home.

Disclaimer: The fact is this, the editor nor the author own any of these characters mentioned! The only thing owned here is the author's need to make run-on sentences at any chance available.

Morning After

Prologue

Hawkeye was returning late after a "mandatory" meeting regarding female military personnel and a yet-again requested submission of the design for **_shorter_** leg attire-aka-the girls getting together to plot revenge for a certain marked Colonel Mustang. Especially now, after they were called and forced to protest, **_yet again_**, the addition of miniskirts to the official uniform.

"Music?"

Hawkeye rounded the hallway leading to the office.

"Oh no!"

She pushes open the partially cracked door and enters the office.

The view from the doorway:

Hughes was enthusiastically snapping pictures. Breda was doing the chicken dance with a lamp shade over his head. Fuery was scrunched in a corner, hiding Black Hayate's eyes and whimpering. Havoc was taking bets from various other personnel on how bad the Colonel's butt will be kicked after this.

The music gradually got louder. Ed climbed up onto Mustang's desk, in a pink frilly miniskirt and proceeded to sing:

"I'm too sexy form my shirt, too sexy for my miniskirt, so sexy…it hurts!"

Armstrong joined in; shirtless; "I'm too sexy for my sparkles"…etc.

One member of the crowd around Mustang's desk; Roy himself, was laughing hysterically, tears streaming down his face. Hawkeye pushed her way through the crowd and approached Mustang.

"Pardon me, **_sir_**, but-WTF!

Roy continued to laugh for a second the said. "five-cups..(gasped)…spiked coffee." He continues his laughing fit.

Hawkeye replied, "SIR! That's-that's-illeg-:"

Roy cut her off, and handed her a cup of 'special' coffee. Then asks," Hilarious?"

Hawkeye looked up at the desk and the frilly miniskirt clad teenager and bursts out laughing as she accepts the cup.

Roy said, " Yep…"Then he yelled, "Hey, FullMetal! Try 'I Feel Pretty' next!"

Scieska walks in and yawns, "Here's all the reports, si-" She dropped the stack of papers and stared on in shock. "Is-that-E-ed?" She giggled manically and she was quickly handed 'coffee'

…Gotta love an office party …

End Prologue


	2. The After Party?

Editor's note: This is a follow-up. Chapter 2 is somewhere in the author's disorganized backpack…those evil little black holes…TAKS test tomorrow, that's the reason I'm typing this now. Yes, I am always busy, so updates are few in between, but review and complain about the author's lack of writing the next chapter sooner, maybe we can have a protest or something!

Disclaimer: OK, I guess some of you people need glasses or pills. WE DO NOT OWN THESE PPL! Got it memorized?

Morning After

Chapter 1: The After Party?

Roy Mustang liked pillows. Soft, squishy, perfect for sleeping on (duh), banging your head into while staying up late to finish 'forgotten' (translated: ignored) paperwork, under the threat of death by Hawkeye (more specifically: her trusty pistols). But they are good to throw at people who wake him up from his daily office nap and stole his gloves. Yes, he loved pillows. On this particular morning, however, his new favorite 'pillow' wasn't nearly as fond of him. Shocked and more than a little embarrassed seem more like the correct terms, actually

"…Ugh…"

Edward Elric, the 'Hero of the People' FullMetal Alchemist, had one hell of a headache.

…Which wasn't that surprising, actually, considering that's generally the case with a hangover, albeit one resulting from five cups of scotch-spiked break room decaf.

"Dammit, where the hell am I?" Moving around, the groaning blond growled. "What the crap is thi-A **_miniskirt_**! Why am I wearing a- oh…That smug bastard's gonna pay! 'Just offering you some coffee, FullMetal; though it will probably stunt your growth even more…' "

He fumed on for a few more minutes, mimicking his superior officer's voice and muttering under his breath, until, while attempting to sit up, he found himself pinned by the waist to the scratchy orange-plaid carpet. Confusedly lifting the mysteriously warm object, he realized it was…

"An ARM? Holy-who…?"

He turned over slightly to glimpse an all-too familiar shock of black hair.

"MUSTANG!" Frantically trying to shove the Colonel off-away from him, he was met with disgruntled murmurs and a vise-like grip tighten around his middle.

"Get OFF, you stupid pervert!"

"Noooo." Roy insisted sleepily, "MY pillow."

Then proceeded to his face in Ed's back. Blushing furiously, Ed vainly struggled to extricate himself from the cuddle-happy Colonel.

"Look, I'm a bad pillow-I won't even stay still,- and what the hell are you using me as one for!...C'mon, leggo…" He sighed in defeat, as he was very near being squeezed to death, he stopped fighting to take in his surroundings.

It seemed the entire office had passed out on the floor or various desks. Havoc was drooling into a potting plant, while Fuery was snoring, head back, in Roy's spinning desk chair. Scieska and Hawkeye, muttering respectively about 'aliens and smashed idiots', seemed to have claimed the couches. Armstrong was sprawled halfway across Breda's desk, and Breda himself was in the same corner Fuery had hidden in the night before, a content Black Hayate curled on his lap. Ed sweat dropped. That would be interesting to wake up to.

Well, at least today was Saturday, so no one would come in to find the drunken mess. All in all, it could've been worse, considering it could be Armstrong rather than Flame-boy who was hugging him. He winced at that and, looking around to make sure no one was anywhere near coherent enough to notice, relaxed into the embrace. Only trying to get back to sleep, for his head, since he wasn't sober enough at 5:30 a.m .anyway, he reasoned to himself. It was was just a plus that he was comfortable. Besides, in the end, everyone else wouldn't admit to actually remebering it anyway. Contentedly reaching for a gripping hand, exchanging it with flesh fingers for the chill of automail, Ed drifted off.

Oh, this was pricless...

Hughes almost cackled with glee as he peered over the desk at the dozing alchemists. Quickly raising his camera, he subtly snapped a picture of the two rivals, knowing that his best friend would char him so blacl 'BBQ Extra Crispy' would be placed on his death certificate, and the other would most likely do something diabolically worse, probably involving putting the camera up his...Yeah, sufficient to say, those pictured would reamin ignorant of the entire caught-on-film deal-unless, of course, the need for blackmail arose, in which case they'd be the first to know. They would be a (useful) favorite; except every single one of his precious Elysia's gazillion, double-negative insured portraits, of course. yup, he sing-songed to himself on the way out the door. Heading home, he thought they should have office parties more often...

"...AIEEEEEEEEEE!"

Breda's shrill shriek shattered the glass catfigurine in Falman'sdesk, effectively proving Havoc's running bet that he could indeed scream like a little girl. Unfortunately the chain-smoking First Lieutenant was too busy doing a face plant into the dirt to notice. And he wasn't the only one else awake...

insert chaos

That's the end of this chapter.

We all know the reader's love suspense!

Chapter 2: Rude Awakenings


	3. Rude Awakenings

Editor's note: It's summer, and I've been in summer school for Geometry (NO I DIDN'T FAIL ANYTHING!) So yeah, I keep getting bombarded with my new muses; Cid, _"Damn right, you better write some good shit!" _Vincent and Axel_ "It's Axel. A-X-E-L. Got it memorized?"_ So yeah...well, after major threatening and revising and addtions of my own; I'm proud to present Chapter 2 Rude Awakenings! Cid:_"Alrighty! Bring on the beer!" _Vincent:_ "Red wine please." _Axel:_" Damn! MY games rated E10! But I'll take Vodka anyway!" _ON WITH THE STORY! _Italics for character monologue_

Chapter 2

Breda's high-pitched screeches mingled with Black Hayate's startled yelping, creating an admirably efficient alarm clock of sorts. Havoc; sputtering thickly through the muck mask of his face; had suddenly become an unfortunate witness to what could be called the reactions of decidedly not "morning people". "Morning people" defined as those bright-eyed, bushy-tailed freaks of nature who actually _like_ waking up to a horrible cacophony of howls with a hangover. These people, however, were not within a 400 mile radius of Central, or, in fact, Amestris at all. (unless you count the Fuhrer, but he's not what we'd call "people") Now, back to the story--

Hawkeye woke up shooting, an explosion of wildly fired bullets, accomplishing her frantic mission to murder the (mercifully de-Fuery-fied) evil spinning desk chair. Scieska squeaked and fell of the coach, quickly joining Fuery in taking refuge (cowering pitifully) under Mustang's desk.

"Whoa...there's _food _under here!"

"Ummm Fuery, maybe we shouldn't be--CHOCOLATE!"

As the massacre of office furniture continued (next to go was the potted plant) somehow Armstrong, just keptsnoring. Really-_really_loudly. And it just got worse. A jangling telephone (Havoc fervently hoped it _wasn't_ his mother) blended with the racket, harmonizing nicely with the rat-tat-shatter of the Colonel's favorite coffee mug. The one brightly declaring 'I See Short People!' Ed would thrilled.

The Colonel...

Blinking groggily amidst the surrounding chaos (formerly known as his office), it took Roy a moment to feel the person tucked comfortably under his chin. Tilting his head slightly to investigate, he paused, uttely nonplussed, at the telltale flash of gold and red.

"_Fullmetal? But-...! Wha-...? How did he...? Oh. Right. The coffee...Ugh..."_

Indeed, the smaller alchemist was currently curled quite tightly into the crook of his arm, clinging to Roy's beloved military jacket as he snuggled closer, away from the noise. The Flame marveled for a minute; it wasn't often you saw Edward Elric so, so **_unguarded. Vulnerable. _**Pfft, he was anything but...Still...

Ah, well. Mentally groaning at the tantrum that was so sure to follow, Mustang resigned himself to waking Ed up. And he tried. He really did. But after several increasing, vehement, futile attempts, the-kid-would-not-**budge**. The Colonel glared at him in exasperation as the blonde smiled innocently, exchanging a soft sigh as he reamined fas t asleep.

Then Roy remembered something Alphonse had told him awhile back. Leaning close to Ed's ear, he whispered:

"Shrimpcake."

The resulting kick was both instant and painful. For future reference, it would appear that shins and automail weren't compatible.

However, Mustang's quiet, deciededly pissed cursing (berating himself as a moron, Ed as as ungodly tiny speck with a height complex and a destructive streak, alcohol in general, and, for some odd reason, the color pink.) finally had an effect. FullMetal fidgeted, frowning and grumbling, until he pulled away to yawn and rub his eyes. Peering up through his bangs sleepily, he froze, wide-eyed.

"Good Morning FullMetal," Roy intoned softly, eyes glinting with amusement as the younger stared up at him blankly. Flushing bright red, he quickly looked away, registering **exactly** where he was.

Clearing his throat, he seperated quickly from the Colonel, scrambling to sit up as he attempted to regain **some** dignity.

"...Ummmm...I...uhhh..._Yup Edward, **THAT** was articulate!_

Ed looked down, crimson with embarrassment, and Mustang almost missed the mumbled "Good Morning" in reply. Grinning easily, he met hesitant golden eyes, cocking an eyebrow and asking curiously, "Sleep well?"

Ed went, if possible, even redder. "Maybe..."

"Good." And he meant it. "So did I."

The silence stretched.

And right about then, Roy Mustang realized the room was entirely too quiet...

**BoF: And so ends another cliffhanger chapter...annoying isn't it?**

**Vin: Very much so. **

**Axel: Can Roxas be a muse too? **

**BoF: What the hell...more the crazier! Any objections?**

**Axel: HELLS NO! (drags in tied up Roxas)**

**Vin:...if it will keep Axel quiet...**

**Cid:...The HELL WAS THIS #$$ SHIT? They were gay!**

**BoF:...you need to be slapped...you are the ones begging me to write a CidXVin! **

**Axel: AxelRoxas too please nice writer lady! **

**BoF: Fine! ...when I'm not too busy playing KH2...again...or going to school**

**Axel: YAY! **

**Cid:...Stupid gay faggots...(gives the cute puty face)**

**Vin:(hugs Cid) There. Now shut up.**

**Cid:OKAY!**

**BoF: IDIOTS! Next chapter whenever weget around to it..**..

**Vin: That means never...**


End file.
